ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is it because I queefed?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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