I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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