i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
