I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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