yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
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So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize