Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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