i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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