Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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