if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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