she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize