I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
