farters have to be the big spoon...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize