I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
