it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think I am morally bankrupt
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
