overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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