we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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