How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love you. Go after that dick
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