Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
