now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
