Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
