i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
this will be a night to untag.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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