no you cant smoke seaweed
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
