Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
