I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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