I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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