that's an acceptable place to lick
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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