Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
