3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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