She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize