Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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