I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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