How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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