i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
