No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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