i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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