This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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