You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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