I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
two words: eviction party
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight