I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.