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I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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