Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs