fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one