glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.