you guys were way drunker than both of me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
