Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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