I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
