He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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