She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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