Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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