that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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