Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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