I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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