She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
