We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
