I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize