Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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