Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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