I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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