I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
