Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sext me about skeletons
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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