There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
