were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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